You can’t do a thing! Let me say that again for those in the back row! You can’t do a thing.

Well you can, but you can only change yourself; not her or her mind. Focus on you, your family and your stepchildren. Remember why you are doing it.

I will recommend you put on your big girl panties and try to be kind when in public. I will recommend that you do what you do because it is the “right” thing to do, and it is the best for the kids. If you are doing those things, then you can’t go wrong.

I would strongly recommend you do not talk about her negatively to your stepchildren.

Here are some things she may be feeling that are influencing her attitude or actions:

  • She sees that you have the life that was meant for her
  • You are a constant reminder that she failed in some way/marriage
  • You possibly spend more time with her kids than she does
  • She sees that changes in her ex-husband for the better
  • She is afraid that the kids will like your more
  • She thinks you want to replace her
  • She is jealous
  • Possibly, you did something to her?

These are just reasons that some ex/moms have admitted through research conducted over the years. Whatever the reason, it has nothing to do with your personally. It is what you represent. The only thing that will change this dynamic of having a cordial relationship would be having her eyes opened or her heart softened to realize that you aren’t a bad person and you are doing what is best for her kids.